Respect Your Team – How to improve relationships, trust and performance.

Growing up I often heard my mother say, “If you don’t respect yourself no one will respect you.” This was a prelude to a lecture of some sort about doing the right thing, treating others correctly, having composure or not responding harshly to others.

• What is respect and what sort of respect do we expect our team members to show us?
• Who should provide this respect first, me as the manager or they to me as their boss?
• If I do not respect my team what sort of productivity will I expect?
• How can I show respect?

In a survey by the London IT Job Board (September 2010) they reported that respect from colleagues is a significant motivator for higher productivity. Another research reported that better relationships in the workplace will improve productivity. This is not rocket science. We have always known this intuitively and from experience. However not many people and especially those in management positions show respect in order to improve productivity. It is as if as you become a manager, you want to increase productivity at any cost. However, the first casualty is usually relationships and respect. As a result, low productivity is often the reality.

What is respect?

The Oxford Dictionaries defines respect as to esteem or have regard for someone’s feelings, wishes or rights; and to admire someone as a result of their abilities, qualities or achievements.

What respect do we expect from our followers?

Some managers expect to be respected because of their position, background, experience, results and knowledge. At times they demand respect from their followers.  Others earn trust by building relationships with their followers. When followers do not accept decisions made by their managers, some managers feel that they were not respected. They then demand “obedience” which in turn erodes much of the trust that has been built with their followers.

Who should show respect first?

If we wait for others to show respect we will never get anywhere. According to the statement above, a person who does show respect to themselves can’t show respect to others and hence will not be respected. My siblings and I grew to have self-respect and respect others for who they are not what they can do for us. There is also the principle of reciprocity, “The way you show respect to others is the way you will be respected.”

It is up to us as managers to demonstrate our respect to our followers starting with having esteem and regard for their feelings, rights and wishes before we start to admire their abilities, qualities or achievements. This will help our team members to feel accepted, respected and treated as people of worth. Their styles, personalities, background and other qualities only add richness to the team relationships.

How do you demonstrate respect to your team?

There is a Golden Rule of behaviors that can be found in many religions and philosophies. It is usually summarized as, “Treat people as you would want them to treat you.” Here are some tips to help you apply this rule in building RESPECT to others in your team and in personal life.

• Relate to them as individuals – every person is different and they have different needs, ways of expressing themselves and relating to others. Get to know their names, their family names, what is important to them and what are they goals.
• Encourage individuality – You can’t expect conformity and productivity at the same time. Everyone is different in personalities, styles and creativity. When you encourage them to embrace their individual uniqueness to support the team you will enable them to perform at a higher level.
• Show trust in their capability – Once you know your team members’ capabilities, competence levels and capacity, assign to them tasks to match their capabilities with a little of stretch. Then allow them to do their task without too much interference. They will feel that you trust them and will reward you with higher performance.
• Positively communicate with them – A couple of old proverbs say, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” And, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” It is in your power to speak life or death into your relationships. So chose to speak life with positive and pleasant words rather than harsh and negative tone and phrases.
• Expect differences – People with speak differently, act differently, and perform differently as well as respond differently. Expect to observe different reactions and contributions from your team members. Embrace it and celebrate the differences in order that they will feel valued for their contribution to the team.
• Care for their needs and feelings – Your team members are not robots. They have lives outside their work. Be aware of their feelings, needs and be flexible in how you deal with them. This will build rapport with them and loyalty to you and your leadership.
• Talk straight – To build trust your team needs to know that, “what you say is what you mean,” and, “what you say is what you will do.” Do not use flattery or beat around the bush. Be gentle yet be straight. They need to know where they stand with you at all times. This will bring you respect and gives them freedom to perform at higher levels.

Respect, therefore depends on how you first treat others. It can’t be assumed but needs to be earned. As a leader you need to be the first to move in order to motivate and engage your team to improve their performance.